Me.

So today I made a blog. Ha I made so much fun of my sister Brittney because she has one of these things, but I really do enjoy writing. I like writing down my thoughts and things that go on in my life. It kinda helps me capture everything that is going on and see things differently at times.

I just got back in school after Christmas Break and I really didn't want to.[boo] But I'm glad because this means only a few more months and I'll finally be a senior. It's scary to think about having only one more year of school and I'll be in college. It's rather mind blowing. I have to start figuring out different things and make different decisions. Where I'm going to college. Really work on my grades. Realize how I want to finish out my year and 1/2 left. Decide what really matters to me.. who really matters to me. Should I do this, or should I do that. What do I want to do for my job one day. Do I want to go into the youth ministry. Do I want to do missions. Do I want to major in photography. Who am I going to date. Am I going to date. Do I actually want to date. ha no not really right now. But all of these things are flying at my face and its a tough time figuring things out. All I have to keep in mind is My God is not a God of confusion. So I know He'll lead me all the way through every decision.

So basketball has basciyl jsut begun. We have four games coming up in a row. Fri.Sat.Mon.Tues. And my knee is killing me =/ I have to get it checked up on tomorrow maybe. So I pray I will still be able to play bc that would TOTALLY STINK! I've decided I am def NOT going to cheer anymore. It's a waste of my time. But I am excited because once basketball is over I'll be able to do something I love. That is taking pictures. I LOVE LOVE LOVE taking pictures. It's my time to be me, do what I want, how I want it, with my skills I've been giving. It's kinda like my time to escape from this world. And I kinda like that ha. Once basketball is over though I have family pictures and senior pictures and so on lined up already so I'm excited! =]=]

Friendships are going good right now. Haven't had anything go on this year with that. No dumb fighting or drama. I ahve finally realized who I can trust. Who my true friends are. Those who will only bring me up and those who would bring me down. Whose there for me when things go wrong but also those who are cheering with me when things are great. I just have a peace with everyone and my group of loves[friends] just keep growing.=]

family is doing good. Haven't gotten in trouble in a while. lol by trouble I mean not making up my bed =P silly silly. but yea everything is good there. I'm loving how Dad is home more and I like having mom there at home because I know she is always there when I need her.

My quiet time has been going great. I've been really consistant and I'm loving my devotional book. "Everything Counts" My Utmost For His Highest. It's awesome =] I'm growing and I am making changes that I know I've needed to work on.

I have also learned these past two weeks that sometimes inorder to see stuff clearly you have to get rid of some things. Even though its tough to do somethings, it'll only be the best for you later on. Everything I believe can only make you stronger and it all happens for a reason. So I'm def. taking that into thinking and it helps me everyday I think about it.

I miss my sister.Brittney. She's in VA at Liberty and she hasnt lived with us in like what 4 years now? goodness. it's like I'm the only child.[boo] I need a puppy =] But yea I miss her being here. We use to have a jacknjill bathroom and we would always meet in there and just talk.About anything. Didn't matter. I miss that.

But okay that's all for tonight.

-Ash

What He Brings

I feel so alone like no one cares


Haunted by the feeling of everyone's stares


I lie awake at night wondering why im alone

Realizing now that my heart has turned to stone


Knowing i cant escape this prison inside


Fighting this pain which has cause me to lie


Hurting everyone even those that loved me so


I've locked myself in a cage with nowhere to go


I'm screaming for help and all i can see


Are the people i hurt and those that use to love me


I yelled so loud then fell on my knees


But no one could hear my desperate pleas


Until He reachd out His hand of grace


And lifted me out of this horrible place


I saw His face when the spear went in His side


And as He hung there I saw my Lord as He died


But dont cry my friends things didnt stay that way

Bc the Lord rose from the grave on the third day


He lives in me with a heart pure of gold


He now uses this vessel thats old and torn from this world

So i thank Him so much for dying for me


But now that im free and He lives within me


I can share with others about the eternal life that He brings

Better Half

So as i lay here in my bed i look up and wondered in my head
Why did i do this why didnt i stop
But then i noticed my cell light up
I looked at it with dismay
Bc its the guy that gave away. . .
His heart to me

I didnt mean to i didnt want
To hurt you from the very start
I told u not to waste ur time
But did u listen no.. u stayed up all night

You asked me again and again why not
And i told u what i told u from the start
You need some one with things i dont have
Dont u want a grl to be ur better half?

I know that u wouldnt get that half from me
Thats why i said to give up on me
You werent the guy for me to have
Just like i wasnt the gurl you had never had

I told you oh so many times to leave it
But did you listen...no, now ur grievin
Can we still be friends
Yea i doubt it
But id like for a fresh start
But u wouldnt have it

I know your mad and 'heated'
But your not the only one who's grieve'n
I wish i could tell you wats all in my head
But ik it wouldnt do much bc we're at the end

I'll miss u
But ull be glad
That i did this for u
So that u can have
*Your Better Half*

Funny Faces

FunNy faces how can they be
when I look at You and you look at me
your smile is perfect your smile is grand
but its more warming when you hold my hand

I glance your way you glance at mine
I can see your sense of humor in your eye
and even when you ask me I can not lie
your funny faces are the favorites of mine

I'm Done

They don't know all the worth

All this pain & all this hurt

With all these lies that they say

One day they will have to pay



I'm tired of heaing what's not true

That's coming out from All of You

I can't believe I trusted ya'll

Those that I use to call. . .

-My Friends-



I'm tired of these tears I've shed

I'm waiting for you to lay my head

On your shoulder so i can sleep

Because I haven't gotten any



Why do you keep coming to me

& telling me all these things

I thought you knew me better

But then again what does it matter



I wish I had some one to lift me up

Because I have basicly given up

I'm tired of these games you play

Because all I have left to say



Is thanks a lot for all you've done

Because you're not the only one

Who has tried my patience & my strength

So now I'm gonna have to say



-I'm Done-

Never Let Go

There's nowhere to run

I have no place to go

Surrender my heart,body,& soul

How can it be you're asking me

To feel the thing you never show

Hold onto me & never let me go

Smile&Laugh

Smile so the tears wont fall

Laugh like your not hurt at all

Smile like you just dont care

Laugh when life isnt fair

Smile when you dont have a choice

Laugh, dance, & make some noise

Smile like you dont have a clue

Laugh when your feeling blue

Smile when your heart is aching

Laugh like your hearts not breaking